Pure decadence. I am writing my articles wearing Louboutin heels. I refuse to let them go when I’m inside the house. It’s my Barbie status. Barbie is an important symbol because she is the first doll to embrace her femininity and to want a career. My Barbie is called Bubblecut and she is a doll with attitude. Her official boyfriend, blond Ken, arrived to protect her and is very tolerant because when they shipped him to Bucharest something bad happened and when he accidentally fell in a bowl of water, he lost his hair, which is an important part of his identity. At that point my two options were: first, to consider Ken a counterfeit doll and to send him back or to keep him and thus accept his flaws. Ken and Barbie are friends, but Bubblecut is very fancy and has high fashion clothes and jewelry, while Ken needs an improved wardrobe. It was very hard for me to find a proper suit for Ken to accompany Barbie at the opera, so Ken looks more like a bodyguard than an admirer, which, honestly, makes the situation difficult. I tried to bring Gianfranco Ken to Bucharest but it was impossible, I guess Bubblecut needs to move to the States to meet him, if she wants a guy with a fancy suit. I have to admit that since I saw Daniel Craig in James Bond dressed by Tom Ford I have a strange habit to analyze men’s suits and their fitting. For the time being, Bubblecut can enjoy blond Ken’s company at the beach, because he has a proper outfit for sea adventures. I saw in the film Barbie that Ken wants to redefine his role next to her. He does not want to be anymore in a supporting position. It’s true that Ken is in the picture just to make Barbie look better. He is the only man in the world working for the benefit of a woman and he feels uncomfortable. I also feel differently when it comes to their role in my life. Barbie is my comfort zone. She is my balance because I felt a huge imbalance when it comes to women as raw models in my life. They all turned out to be so contrasting in behavior that they made me doubt about my chances of ever growing up in a healthy way and they made me understand that an interesting man always comes first, no matter what other ladies are doing around. So, Barbie is a safe choice to continue to develop as a woman. But I need to admit that Ken is right because he needs to redefine himself. Nobody cares enough for him to give him proper clothing and accessories to match Barbie. Right now, Ken has a wardrobe to stay at home and to wait for Barbie to come home after she has amused herself during the night. He probably enjoys that because if he didn’t he would have asked for new and improved clothes. It’s his choice to let Gianfranco Ken accompany all the fancy Barbies in town. And Gianfranco is a limited edition, so there are only a few good Kens for all the upscale Barbies. Here is a dilemma, Barbie wants a career and her current choice, blond Ken, is appropriate only for the beach. What to do? Barbie without Ken is not possible in order for her to succeed and Gianfranco is far away and probably by now useless because, being available in limited numbers, no Barbie that wants to be in cards dares to refuse him. So, at the end of the day Gianfranco Ken without proper criticism is just a suit-wearing a man. On the other hand, blond Ken feels wonderful at the beach and does not see the need for an improved suit for the opera. Barbie is at a crossroads and does not know how to move forward. What does Ken actually want because he also wants a change. Barbie cannot ask for a better suit for blond Ken, because he’s the only one who can do that. Meanwhile, Barbie thinks about her favorite characters in How to steal a million? And asks herself how many chances there are for a sophisticated Barbie and a sophisticated Ken to meet in real life. The red Jaguar E-Type is a bonus. And maybe ,just maybe, they have to meet in Paris at an auction.

My other doll, Lena, a beautiful blonde, short-haired, green-eyed, classical doll, which I received 33 years ago from Moscow, is in pain. My mother, who gifted her to me, put her in the washing machine and almost destroyed her. Now I hope I will be able to recover her and send her to the Western world to be repaired and I hope for the best. I made the mistake of sending someone I knew a picture of her and when I saw how she looked after being washed I felt destroyed. If I manage to have her fixed, I am going to keep her in hiding somewhere so no one attacks her because of some crazy reason that I’m not aware of. She is different from Bubblecut. Bubblecut is career focused and wants to conquer the world. Alone or alongside beachy Ken. Lena is funny, she is a chubby doll with a specific temper. She doesn’t care about sizes. She cares only about opening her green emerald eyes to the world and with a nonchalant boyish look, tries to tell you that green eyes can inspire you to feel good about yourself on your journey through life. She is good company and she teaches you that even if you’re less than perfect, it’s still a good experience to be a part of this world. When I think about them and their influence on me, I am happy that they are mine and that they taught me to enjoy different perspectives of the world and they made me understand that keeping your mind open means to allow yourself to evolve. I can’t think of anything worse than the darkness of the mind. Image can change, habits can be improved, but the mind is the door to the answers. And the dolls are the keys. I always wanted to be in good shape like Barbie and on heels, of course, but after a very difficult moment in my life, in which I felt almost excommunicated, it was impossible not to get completely out of shape. At that point I could not go on Barbie’s perspective and I needed to save myself somehow. I still have a picture of me and Lena and I hope it’s not my last memory of her. Barbie is a newcomer, but Lena is a long-standing friend. And she has only one outfit. When I look at her green eyes, she tells me that until I get my shape back, maybe I could work on other skills to recover and that she is willing to smile at me as long as it is necessary for me to find my inspiration. So, Barbie is my shape and career advisor and Lena my savior of growth and my source of inspiration. Making me choose in favor of one of them is offensive. They both were created and crafted by smart people. I say that smart dolls make smart people. And they said to me: use all that we offer you to manage the situation and find some answers. We are, probably, the only ones that do not judge you; we trust you. But we are made by humans, so, bounce back, please. If you find persons similar to our creators and crafters, make new friends and find a different perspective of the world. And one more thing: the world is full of imitators, so choose wisely who you admire and praise. Barbie comes with a family, friends, car, house, outfits, she is never alone but she is not allowed to be out of shape, it’s a world for those who are strong enough to stay in shape no matter what, while Lena is bigger, with bigger eyes, but she is alone and she deals alone with the problems. She is also very successful, but Barbie has an excellent PR. Each of them would want to see the world from the other one’s perspective, but it is not possible. If I’m not around, they don’t get along (that’s what I call good diplomacy!). Lena calls Barbie fiscally irresponsible (why is there always a crowd with her and so many cars and houses, she needs to work around the clock to make money for everybody and to pay taxes) and Barbie says Lena is very intelligent, but Ken (who, by the way has become also very unstable lately and wants to control all of Barbie’s money, only God knows why!) loves only well-shaped women and being alone and with only one outfit is major vulnerability in this world. The green eyes are not enough for a profitable international career. I let them teach me how to manage my way. I don’t want to be so strong to not be able to change anymore, but I’m happy for the opportunity to have them and to be advised by them.

This article was supposed to start with the idea of the wobbling tables from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Nobody likes to eat or drink from unstable tables, so the idea of having them almost glued to the floor in a coffee shop seemed a good one. The irony was that, at the end of the episode, a fire started in the coffee shop, and they could not be removed by the firemen to extinguish the fire inside, because they were so stable. So, there is perfection even in the unbalanced tables.

P.S. My mother threw away my Russian doll without asking me first. I guess it’s impossible to own something Russian, even an old doll, in this country. It’s kind of sad for Barbie to be without proper competition. But that’s life in this part of the world. Too often senseless. Let’s hope for the best at the auction in Paris.